There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
