This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
