That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
