Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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