I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
