May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
