He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
