do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
