Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
