I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
