I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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