sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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