my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think a kid would responsible me up
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
