How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
