I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
