Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We left an ass print on the piano.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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