I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
