Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
