Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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