awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
