worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
