sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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