she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
