Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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