i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
