this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
