So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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