I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
