I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
