Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
