My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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