does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
