just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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