nut hugger
well you can't waste a boner
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
