whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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