elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Dear god my vagina.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
