You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
