smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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