Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
