So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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