I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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