OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
