I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
