A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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