My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
