i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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