Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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