it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
