i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
