You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
