I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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