4 words: hood of his car
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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