carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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