I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
