I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
