Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
