Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize