found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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