Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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