On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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