Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
