You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
