Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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